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8 ways to piss off your LinkedIn connections

8 ways to piss off your LinkedIn connections Josh Dreller

Ah, social media. Alas, it's a club anyone can join as long as they have a browser and an internet connection. We're all still learning the rules together, and the truth is that behaviors you might consider absolutely benign could actually be annoying the rest of us.

When it comes to social media activity in your personal life, missteps in etiquette can easily be dismissed by your friends and family. However, on LinkedIn, the dominant social network for business, mistakes can affect your career and how your peers and colleagues view you. Unlike a friend who will tell you nicely when you're being annoying, you won't get the same patience in a business setting -- and you might not get a second chance. Be careful how you conduct yourself. Otherwise, you risk soiling your professional reputation and being "that guy."

8 ways to piss off your LinkedIn connections

Are you a LinkedIn misfit? The following are annoying LinkedIn moves that you might want to review to ensure that you are not sending out the wrong message to your peers. In the interest of full transparency, I openly admit that I have been guilty of a few of these in the past, and I plan to revisit some of my own LinkedIn practices moving forward.


This is a common issue that goes back to the beginning of the web. It started with email. Who among us doesn't have a family member who feels the need to broadcast every joke, recipe, meme, how-to, or news brief they encounter? In their mind, it's just a click to delete -- so what's the harm?

The problem is that we have so much communication coming at us these days -- via cell phones, home phones, IM, texting, email, social media, etc. -- that we just don't need unnecessary clutter. I appreciate the soy chocolate chip cookie recipes, Aunt Marge, but you're filling up my inbox.

Ridiculous titling

With regards to LinkedIn, ridiculous titling (which I wrote about last year) can absolutely send the wrong message to the world. "Social Ninja"? "Chief Visionary Officer"? Be careful. What might seem like an innocent demonstration that you don't take yourself too seriously might be misunderstood.

LinkedIn is a business setting, not a comedy night club. Half the population might get the joke, but the other half might just think that you're the joke. Remember that 93 percent of recruiters use LinkedIn.

Ultimately, the decision it yours. Just remember that humor and personality is great, but written communication can be easily misinterpreted.


Listing a ton of current jobs on LinkedIn makes you look like you're overcompensating. You're an account executive at a big company, a CEO/CTO/CFO of your own startup, a blogger, an advisor, an activist, a judge for the local talent show, etc.

OK -- awkward moment here, as yours truly is culpable of this. Yes, I work at a great company, I write for two great publications, and I volunteer at an industry association. However, I feel it's important for me to list these things, as they are very relevant to telling my professional story. But the takeaway here is to be cautious of sending mixed messages with multi-jobbing. Don't go overboard with the jobs you list. You could confuse the reader as to what you're really about. The roles you list should seem to complement each other rather than compete.

Using LinkedIn mail too much

Choose your method of communication wisely, young grasshopper. Does this message deserve a call, a letter, a Facebook status update, an email, or is LinkedIn the right place?

Based on my experience with LinkedIn response rates, the average person keeps this social network at a fairly low priority in their overall communication schedule. Yes, they'll get back to you, but it might take a few days. I often miss timely messages inviting me to an event or something similar, and I feel a bit bad that the senders could think I ignored them.

Never checking your LinkedIn Mail

On the flipside of the above annoyance, people who never check their LinkedIn mail can be even more annoying than people who use it too much. I sent out a notice of a change in my professional status last May, and (this is absolutely true) I am still receiving a trickle of congrats from folks who are just now getting to that message -- almost a year later. If you're going to have an account, use it. If not, shut it down.

Overstepping bounds

Social media pundits have been using Dunbar's number of about 100 to 200 as a rule of thumb in terms of the maximum number of social connections that any single person can truly know and follow. If you're like me, you haven't accepted every invitation to connect on LinkedIn, but maybe you haven't been as narrowly selective as you could have been. So, based on that metric, if you have 500 connections, it's highly likely that you really don't know 300 to 400 of them very well. That's not a big deal on LinkedIn because it's meant to be your professional network, not your intimate personal one.

I'm sure I've reached out to connections of mine who I'm not very close to for help in the past -- I might have been researching a company, checking up on a potential hire, or just trying to strengthen a relationship with someone who I would like to know better. However, some people really go a bit overboard and ask for recommendations and referrals that a contact isn't comfortable giving.

Whenever I've felt like I might be crossing the line, I try to send a very brief LinkedIn message that asks if the person could speak on the phone with me for a few minutes at their convenience. Then, once we chat, I am able to phrase the request in a manner that lets the other person ask the questions needed to feel comfortable. I also try to keep the call very friendly and -- importantly -- give the person an out. I think that's only fair.

A call like this would go something like the following:

"Hey Anne, thanks for taking my call. I know we're joined on LinkedIn, but I wanted to be respectful and not just shoot this request over, as it's been a long time since we first connected. If you aren't comfortable with this, I completely understand. This is something I would normally request from someone who I know a bit better, but frankly, I just haven't been able to find another path to take other than asking you."

Not adding a picture

This is a pet peeve of mine. I can completely understand the privacy (and security) aspect here, and I wouldn't hold it against anyone who didn't want to share an image of himself or herself. However, even though LinkedIn is a professional social network, it's still a social network. We're on it to get to know each other, to research business contacts before we meet to see if there's an interesting connecting point between us, etc. What's the harm? Adding a face to a name helps us recognize each other at conferences and lunch appointments.

Having multiple profiles

This is not something I encounter very often anymore, but sometimes I'll look someone up to invite them to connect, and the person has multiple profiles. Which one is the real you? What's the call here? Do I try to connect with all three of your profiles or just the one I think is most used?


This list might not represent all of your own LinkedIn pet peeves. For example, one of the main annoyances in LinkedIn etiquette I've seen documented is when people try to connect using the default "I'd like to add you to my professional network on LinkedIn" message. Having used this before, my feeling is that when the motivation for connection is fairly obvious, you don't need to write a personalized greeting. For example, I just started at a new company, and I sent out a few LinkedIn default requests to new colleagues. Was it bad manners for me to not spend the time to customize each invitation? I don't think so -- but I might be wrong. What do you think?

Overall, I find LinkedIn to be a very helpful resource. Before I meet someone new for a business appointment, I try to check them out to see where we connect: Do we have similar experiences? Where did that person go to school? Do we know some of the same people? Walking into a meeting with a bit of context absolutely helps smooth the initial learning curve in getting to know each other. But to ensure that LinkedIn is helping you put your best foot forward, you need to use proper social media business etiquette.

Josh Dreller is director or marketing research at Kenshoo.

On Twitter? Follow Dreller at @mediatechguy. Follow iMedia Connection at @iMediaTweet.

"One black sheep in the herd of whites" image via Shutterstock.

As a media technologist fluent in the use of leading industry systems, Josh Dreller stays abreast of cutting edge digital marketing and measurement tools to maximize the effect of digital media on client goals. He has achieved platform certification...

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to leave comments.

Commenter: Arthur Catalanello

2013, April 13

I enjoyed your post Josh. Not having a picture on your profile is a pet peeve of mine too. I still encounter people with duplicate profiles, so I recently wrote a post about that. Would love to get your take on it: http://wp.me/p1LHj0-n4

Commenter: Robert Hildreth

2013, April 10

@Sione....Were you one of those people who said the internet was a fad 20 years ago? Its quite simple...LinkedIn is for business. I use it to keep my business connections off of my facebook. I use my facebook to connect with family and friends for a variety of reasons. LinkedIn has its place for us business people who talk about deals, share ideas and yes I have been recruited a few times even though I have declined the offer. For those who choose to use it....good luck in your connections and conversations.

Commenter: Sione Palu

2013, April 09

I think that people put their profiles on LinkedIn so that they feel important. I see no benefit of putting one's profile there. If people do it simply because its good for their employment prospects, then I've yet to hear someone that's being hired solely on the employer checking out likely candidates on LinkedIn. I have academic researchers that I have requested their published papers before who have put their profiles on LinkedIn requesting me via automated email on a regular basis to join their network and I simply declined. I think LinkedIn is a fad.

Commenter: Obi-Wan Plunkett

2013, April 08

you totally missed.. "subscribe you to all the groups they are in and add you to spam email lists..

Commenter: Mike Chornopesky

2013, April 08

And what about clueless endorsements? I don't know what to think when someone endorses me for something I don't do.

Commenter: Olivia Gushin

2013, April 08

Great article! Very succinct! As are your previous ones.