Example #1: A fundraising email from WBFO

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A fundraising email from WBFO, a Boston based public radio station.

This email was sent about five years ago, but I have kept a copy because it's a great example of two separate points.

First, and this is a point we can cover in just a few lines, this is an excellent example of what I call "HTML Lite." That is to say, the email has all the advantages of using HTML, but also uses the personal nature of text-only to carry its message. The use of HTML allows them to use their logo in the header area and then place hyperlinked text in the body of the email, instead of using long, ungainly text URLs.

By resisting the temptation to use HTML to over-format the page and add numerous irrelevant graphics and links, they have retained the personal touch you get with a text-only email

It is rare to see HTML Lite. And that's a pity, as it gives you all the benefits of HTML and text-only within one email.

On to the next point.

The opening paragraph, just three sentences long, is one of the best I have ever seen.

Here it is:

Listening to great programming on WBFO while sipping a big mug of coffee is a daily ritual for many people.  How about you?  I'm writing to invite you to be part of the WBFO 200 pound coffee challenge.

We'll take this sentence by sentence.

The first sentence connects the radio station with the topic of the email: coffee. There is no fluff, no clichés about how much we value you as a reader, no warm-up intro. It gets straight to the point. Immediately. And that's rare in an email. But the sentence does more than simply set up what follows. It also paints a picture...a picture of people sitting together at breakfast, enjoying their coffee and listening to public radio.

It's a nostalgic, attractive and comforting picture. It has a touch of Norman Rockwell to it. Not bad for a first sentence.

Now for the second sentence: "How about you?"

Brilliant. The writers (Betsy Harman and Joan Wilson) immediately invite the reader into the cozy picture created by the first sentence. They are including the reader. They are inviting the reader to participate...to imagine, to feel, to enjoy the warmth of the coffee and the sound of the radio.

And they do it in just three words.

In addition, from a technical point of view, it's just perfect that they use a very short sentence in-between the two longer sentences before and after.

Now for the final sentence: I'm writing to invite you to be part of the WBFO 200 pound coffee challenge.

Thank you Betsy and Joan. As a reader, it is an enormous relief when the writer gets straight to the point and explains the purpose of the email right upfront. Most writers, through sneakiness or just carelessness, often try to lead you down a tiresome, winding trail before actually getting to the point.

As for the rest of the email...it works just fine. And even though I don't think the rest of the email matches the mastery of that first paragraph, it doesn't matter.

They had me at "How about you?"

Next: Example #2: Occasional emails from Innocentdrinks.co.uk