Thanks for the constructive feedback David. When breaking up with a vendor / publisher, candor is definitely important. I also make it very clear why the relationship is ending. For example, when breaking up with a publisher I make the performance reasons clear, such as the eCPL was too high or the lead quality was poor. The key is to always take the focus off the individual rep (unless the rep is the problem). For example, we just switched our ad serving platform simply because of a better fit with our back end systems. When breaking up with our previous vendor, it was easy to focus on the business reasons for the breakup. One book that helped my mindset in all areas, but specifically in the area of business breakups is "The Power of Nice" by Linda Kaplan Thaler and Robin Koval.

Nice article, well written, easy to agree with everything in it, but there's not much about *how* to break up nicely. I tend to blow up relationships with horrible performers. I do not raise my voice, but might take a tone, and feel at the time well justified in informing them as to their errors, so they know why I am firing them. This is typically received as offensive, rather than instructive and rational guidance against harmful speculation and repeat performances. I would like to know how you keep a grip, and what it is that you say? Do you avoid mentioning specific problems, or have a way of getting you complaints across without offense? The title got me over here, but it would be great to see some text that matches it.

Thanks Keith. I actually started my business career in Sales, so I have an appreciation for how tough your job can be.
From my perspective, a great publisher/vendor rep I view as extremely valuable. One thing that you pointed out is that there is a big influx of new sales folks. What I've noticed is that many of these newbies don't get the training that they need. The result is a "boiler room" type phone call as opposed to a consultative needs based approach.

Wish more client and agency side shared your views, but I think most of us on the publisher side have already rightfully developed some thick skin when it comes to being kicked around a bit. Those that haven't don't last long.

We've experienced in our business what I guess to be a 3-4x increase in publishers/networks/apps/emerging tech sellers on the street, given all of the vc money flowing into our space. I applaud you for trying to maintain some degree of civility given how many people must come knocking on your door..

When the buying side acts in a cordial manner, we really appreciate it, as most of us understand the difficult to do so in the current marketplace environment.

Thanks Rudy. I appreciate your comments.

Congratulations on a great article. Your years of experience shine through and your choice of words and writing style is exceptional.

And I totally agree with your article. I too am an 'A' type personality. I've run an ad agency for over 15 years and all too often (and regrettably) let some words fly that should have stayed inside my head. To let words fly like this merely shows a lack of self control and is simply short sighted. Sure it gives some form of short term relief but the long term effects as you outlined can be numerous.

Anyway after your first comment I thought I would just put in a quick hoorah for you. You did well. Keep up the good work. :)

John,

While I take a little offense at your personal dig (considering that you don't know me), I agree that manners sometimes go out the window in business in general.

I freely admit that I'm an "A" personality in business, and it has served me well. Just like anyone in any type of business, it's been a learning process. For the most part, I follow the principles in "How to win friends and influence people" as well as the more recent book "The Power of Nice." As a results oriented marketing executive on the brand side, I'm 100% accountable for driving revenue and profit. I've always worked for privately funded companies where I'm literally spending the CEO's money. I have always treated the company's money like it came out of my own wallet.

With this mindset, I sometimes lose my cool when things go awry. It happens... I'm human. It happened more when I was green in the business, and now only happens on rare occasions. What's important is that you learn from these miscues, and get back on the right path.

This is an interesting and somewhat ironic, almost naive article. As a "seasoned" vet of the media biz, I have observed the deterioration of good manners in our industry. Trust me, this ain't some old guy just bitchin'.

When I started my career at Ogilvy & Mather 40 years ago, we were taught to act professionally. We quickly learned to answerer the phone within three rings, to return all phone calls, to treat everyone with deference. We were instructed that salespeople had a job to do, to give them time, and that we might even meet some salespeople who could be great sources of information, because they knew our business better than we did. Also, salespeople were great for new business leads.

For those of us brought up by strict parents, themselves products of the Great Depression, acting this way in business was obvious and not a challenge. However, I saw later generations of entry-level people who seemed virtually devoid of manners. More to the point, they thought them unnecessary. I'm not sure why, but the byproduct is that apparently you have to be in the media business 10 years before the golden rule falls on your head like a paving stone.