I have two ears and one mouth, yet use them disproportionately.

If you're trying to land a client, have you ever found yourself talking and talking and talking some more? Do you get the feeling that you should probably find a second to breathe and let your potential client get a word in? If it seems that your prospect is completely zoning out and counting down the seconds until you're done talking, you're going to lose your shot at the account.

This type of behavior isn't limited to salespeople trying to win an account. Quite often, I've experienced this type of one-sided "brick wall conversation." I've been on too many conference calls, going over metrics or new proposals with agencies or publishers, where the discussion has been completely one-sided. When 10 minutes have passed without a word being uttered by a member of my team -- or if I see people on my team starting to do the head bob, trying to stay awake -- the relationship is headed down the path toward termination.

Gut feelings have become more and more important to me over time. For instance, if a relationship is going to last, I usually have a good feeling right from the beginning. The defining characteristic of the start of these relationships is usually the fact that the sales reps and account team spend time up front learning our metrics and what is important to us.

On the other hand, I get an uneasy feeling when account teams spend all of their energy focusing on speaking at me, rather than with me. It's especially telling when account teams get overly ambitious in pushing their own agendas, even when I've told them that their agenda doesn't fit at all with our brand, our media plan, or our overall business strategy. Part of using your ears and mouth proportionately means that you shouldn't continue to push something that your client doesn't want.

Don't get me wrong: Pushing your clients to their limits is OK when you can back up a strategy or tactic with clear supporting reasons why it's the right direction to move. I'm thankful that I have a handful of partners that continue to push me. They understand my goals and can show me how a particular tactic will get me to my goals more efficiently. Sometimes they are right, and sometimes the tactic proves to be nothing more than a learning opportunity. In either case, the decision to move forward is a two-way dialogue in which an agreement is reached. As I often say: Speak to me, and you'll lose my attention and my business. Speak with me, and you'll earn my business and admiration.