Voting CBS off the island for 'Survivor Reunion' debacle that proved how clueless nets are.
As we inch ever closer to that special event on our media calendars when millions of dollars get sucked up into the vortex of bold predictions and wishful promises that the next 'Friends' will be discovered and our advertised products along with it, I thought I would take this week's Juice to talk about the 'Survivor All-Stars Reunion Reunion' (no, that's not a typo).
By means of recap, Sunday, May 9, was the finale of 'Survivor All-Stars.' In the action-packed show, which included the contractual obligatory return and reunion of the full cast, Amber won both a million dollars by being declared the winner, and a diamond engagement ring, as "Boston Rob" -- her partner in crime -- took the alliance one step further by surprising her with a live, on-air proposal.
It was great unscripted reality TV (yeah, right) as the stage of bad actors did a bad job of acting as if they never saw it coming.
Then, as if our weak tickers couldn't take it anymore, we were jolted with the much-hyped twist (predictably, during the final 30 seconds of the show) when Jeff Probst announced that you, the viewer, would have the opportunity to participate in a real-life tribal council by voting for a 'Survivor' who would win another million dollars. That was graciously donated by CBS, which had, no doubt, gingerly determined that it was a small price to pay for another one hour must-see TV slot, especially against the Series Finale of 'Frasier.'
Oh the games you play, Les [Moonves], the games you play. Toying with our emotions like we are your puppets.
Anyhoo, this is where it gets interesting.
Here's how the vote worked. Viewers could vote using their Cingular wireless phones or by going to CBS.com. Besides the obvious tie-in to Cingular, did you just spot the glaring missing link?
I'll give you a clue. It wasn't the self-addressed stamped envelope.
Yup, the ever-present land-line telephone -- the Cal Ripkin, Jr. of consumer devices had been relegated to the bench. Left on the sidelines. Designated for assignment. I couldn't believe it.
It is absolutely possible that this was a mistake. After all, how many times do you see a Web site left out of a print or television ad nowadays? If so, what a turnaround for the books.
To be sure, it's not obvious whether Burnett and/or network goons should be credited with any kind of benefit of the doubt as to how deliberate this had been, such as what last week's Jaffe Juice talked about with 'Spiderman 2' and Major League Baseball. However, most likely this was a considered move, in light of the promotion with Cingular wireless.
As much as I'd like to believe the delusion that the cellphone has completely replaced the telephone (despite the first signs that this is starting to take place among college kids), I'd be a fool to do so.
And speaking of fools -- I could just see the board room high fives as the starch-shirted executives saluted their brilliance at successfully bypassing the communications medium with virtually 100 percent guaranteed mass reach and penetration.
The network had just eliminated -- or should I say, alienated -- an entire sector of consumers who either didn't have a PC, or have it in the room with them, have a cellphone, didn't know how to send an SMS, or just didn't plain care to peel themselves off the sofa.
Either way, this was a typical illustration of how the beheaded chickens of network land sprint from pillar to post and from extreme to extreme as they reactively try to cope with change.
The solution is not to force-fit a new medium or touchpoint. The goal is to add it to an existing mix or alternatives or opportunities to better connect with consumers.
Make it easier for consumers by giving them multiple means to communicate, interact and transact and they will respond commensurately.
The good might have been CBS's ability to involve consumers – 38 million votes certainly paid testimony to that. The bad however, was a missed opportunity of sweeps-like proportions in that there was no registration (or similar) component on cbs.com.
From an experiential point of view (and let's face it, the Web is an experience by default -- positive, negative or otherwise), the whole encounter was very underwhelming. You could almost feel the network executives logging in every second to check the number of votes cast, without any regard whatsoever for those casting (sounds a lot like politics, doesn't it?).
However, the primo ugly was the idea itself, which went against the very strategic foundation of the program -- completely negating the essence of what makes the concept work in the first place.
'Survivor' -- positioned to outwit, outplay and outlast -- is all about backstabbing, betrayal, deceit and guile (just like a daily episode of 'Bold and Beautiful') and here the producers were awarding a Nice Guys Don't Finish Last Award -- a greedy and contrived popularity contest in order to get viewers to tune in one extra time.
The vote was about as certain as could be without actually being fixed -- everyone knew Rupert would win, just to add a little more anti- to the climax.
All in all, a torrid "integrated" mess which hammered yet another nail into network's coffin.
The first network voted off the island: CBS.
The Jaffe has spoken.